Timing is Everything - Today's Daily OM

August 19, 2010

Embracing Grief

Grief is Important

Giving ourselves permission to be with sadness actually creates space for us to begin the healing process.


Change is something that happens each and every moment in our lives. Since nothing is constant, it may sometimes seem as if we are losing something whenever things do change. Understanding that this is part of our daily existence and that there will not only be gains but also losses in our lives can help us more readily accept and deal with whatever happens.


Whenever we lose something or somebody we love, it is important for us to take time out for ourselves and truly feel the weight of what we are experiencing. Although it may seem that doing so will push us into a deeper state of sadness, truly giving ourselves permission to be with whatever arises actually creates space for us to begin the healing process. This is because the act of grieving is a natural process, allowing us to sort through the range of emotions that are present in our everyday existence. Even though it may sometimes seem easier to involve ourselves in activities that take our minds off of our sadness, this will only make the route to healing more difficult. Unless we listen to where we are in the moment, the emotions we experience will only grow in intensity, and our feelings will manifest themselves in more powerful and less comfortable ways. Once we consciously acknowledge that these emotions are present, however, we are more able to soothe the sorrow of the moment. In so doing, we become more open to our natural ability to heal ourselves.


Grieving doesn’t have to be a process that keeps us rooted in our thoughts of fear and sadness. For the moment we might feel despondent, but by expressing and coping with our true feelings, we face the sadness head-on. When we allow ourselves to accept and deal with our loss fully, we will then be able to continue our life’s journey with a much more positive and accepting outlook. This will make it easier for us to see that our grief is ephemeral and, just like our moments of happiness, it will also come to pass.

Our Last Day Together

A year ago today my life stopped.  A siginificant part, that is, when Suzy left me forever.  It was a gray day much like today. 

I hired a student helper to dig her grave and go with us to the vet's for our final farewell.  She had difficulty walking on her own, stopped eating and wasn't even drinking water, now.  I waited as long as I could.  Death was imminent.  We both knew.  We both grieved.  We both died inside.

When you lose someone you're extremely close to, it is a death on both sides.  For, so much of the closeness and joy you shared, with that Being, will cease.  Life is hard enough on its own current, but add the loss of a meaningful relationship, and you're shipwrecked, washed ashore, tumbling over the rapids---going down.

And, we did.  Suzy into the ground.  Me, into an abyss.  Our final hours were spent together walking, hugging, kissing, loving each other 'til the last second when I left her on a little rug in the exam room at our vet's office. 

Our eyes locked as I slowly backed out of the room, maintaining close contact every millimeter of the way out.  I'll never forget her gaze, telling me it was "okay" and that it was "time to say farewell."  For, it was only with her permission, and support, that I could've said farewell forever. 

She let me let her go.  It was the only way I could.  She's still with me in spirit and heart.  My mind travels to wherever she is, now, and visits her memory often.  Her grave sits right outside my window, in our backyard, where I go often to pay my respects and offer my love, even now.  And, forever.

Farwell, old friend.  You are gone, and I am with you. . farewell.
I'll love you forever.

The Night Before The End

In the hallway we lay

Side by side

Knowing each second

Was in line to be the last goodbye.

All night long we understood,

It would be our final farewell.

We huddled in the dark

And promised to tell

The story of our union,

The depth of our love,

The happy times and trying times

And inseperable bond we felt.

Although immobile

Her highness shone bright

A shining star, a meteor

A galaxy of beauty all right.

Even at death's door,

Her coat still thick and bright.

Her sweet face still youthful

Her spirit forever a sprite.

I can't let you go!

I held on tight

But her heavy sighs

Told me it was time all right.

This would be our last night together

After so many years.

All I could do was hold her

Dissolved in a flood of tears.

She told me to, "Buck up,

Hold on to the love we shared,

For, I will always be with you

In time immemorial, I'll care.

In the shadows of night

Or the silhouettes of day

I'll watch over you even tho' I'm gone

But never far away."

Winding Down the Darkest Path

A year ago, today, I knew the end was near.  Suzy could hardly walk and slept most of the time.  Although I helped, no, lifted her in and out of the house in her Royal Blue saddle sling, it took more effort on each of our parts than we had continual strength to bear.  We were both caving.


Suzy, physically.  Me, emotionally.  Darkness was looming at our door, and we both knew it.  Although we didn't know for sure the exact day it would occur, we knew it would be soon.  And, even though I took her to an accupuncturist, a masseuse, a water therapist and two other vets, nothing worked, anymore.  Her vital organs were shutting down. She was almost 14 years old times 7 or 98 in people years. 


How fast the time flew by.  Guess it always does when you're having fun, and I had nothing but good times whenever I was with Suzy.  Her lightness of being transfused any down or uncertain moods I might've had; her gaity, freshness and effervescent outlook on life constantly recharged my spirits.  Any sad memories of my divorce, loss of friends, family or other heart-aches were transformed by her halo of happiness.  For, Suzy could lift me out of the dolldrums faster and better than anyone in the world.


She was my fountain of youth, my shining star, my harbor of hope, my sweet elixir of delight each and every moment we were together.  She gave me strength when I felt weary, made me feel safe and protected at evey turn.  She bolstered my courage and made me feel like I mattered.  We were a team, a tandem of togetherness bar-none.


As the hours slipped away and the days grew shorter, I agonized over life without Suzy and felt bereft way before the final hours.  For, I knew her absence would be felt by every fiber of my being, and a big part of me didn't want to go on without her.  Yet, I knew I had to, that she would want me to, not only go on living, but be happy.  For she taught me that, in the end, only love is important.  Only that magic we come into the world knowing and, if we're lucky, leave feeling.


Held, cherished and embraced by and from Suzy, I will carry that feeling with me for as long as I live.  My finest teacher, Suzy taught me life-lessons that couldn't be learned from books.  Only through her sterling examples of trust, frienship and honesty did I come to respect the honor that was hers and recognize the beliefs and hope that she instilled in me. 


Two days before our final farewell, I was dying and she was living and, true to form, telling me, in her own way, to release her.  Even in her darkest hours she was able to illuminate  my path of struggles to let her go.  She taught me the meaning of life and, in the end, the meaning of death.  And, above all, the meaning of love. 

Love is a Two-Way Street

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

I don't know who said this, but I agree wholeheartedly.  At least that was how it was for me and Suzy.  Her love boosted my spirits and confidence, my serenity and sense of "place" in the world.  She was everything to me and more.

Loving her gave me courage to do more things, get out and meet more people, travel, not be afraid to explore new pathways in life.  Her love bolstered my very sense of identity, it made me believe in myself more, my decisions and choices.  Suzy's love was everything to me and, without it, I feel empty and lost.

Nothing can replace her.  The bond we had was unlike any other.  Strong, resilient, forgiving, loyal.  Suzy taught me the meaning of these and other qualities.  She taught me to be a better person all the way around.  She taught me about true friendship, which is hard to find, and loyalty which is even harder to find.  In friends, family, people, places.  Suzy's intelligence surpassed any animal I've ever known or known since.  Her dedication to our home, family, and friendship unyielding and honest to the core.

One in a million.  It was my honor and privilege to have known her.  I shall never forget her.  I shall always believe in the power of our love, the strength of our union and the courage I gained from knowing her for almost 14 years.  Her gifts are indelible, her love cherished in my heart for eternity.

When I'm With You. . .

Some roads are rough and rocky

Some very narrow to get through

Traveling by roads,skies and seas

It always leads back to you

You are my beacon light

That shines through every storm

You are there by the fire

That keeps our house a home

You walk with me each day

Through happiness and pain

You are my sheltering umbrella

Whenever there is rain

No matter where I travel

Where ever in the world I roam

I have the inner knowledge

That I will never lose my way

Because all roads lead back to you

And the place we call our HOME...

The Long Way Home

My heart's in a fog

On the journey we've taken

Almost a year

Since I saw your precious face.

Darkness envelopes my soul

As you lie enshrouded

Both alone

Yet together.

I'll always remember

Happier Days

When your silky fur

Soothed my weary soul.

Your dancing eyes

Watched o'er me

Ever the Mama

Always the friend.

You and I forever together

'Til the end.

Six Days Before The End

Lately, I've been in a funk.  Weepy, sad, lethargic and more.  Like my life has come to a halt.  Worse. Like it's regressing, going backwards, into the muck, mire, abyss.  Ever feel like that?


Can't help thinking it has something to do with Suzy's anniversary death-date.  Last year, at this time, she was withering away, being carried out in a sling to do her business 3 times a day and sleeping a lot.  Yet, she still looked beautiful.  Her reddish silky coat looked a bit thinner but none the worse for wear.  The color still radiant, the white still bright, her ears tipped symmetrically, her smile wide and honest.  For, she was a magnificent creature through-and-through.  From the day she was born 'til the day she died.

 In fact, I daresay I haven't met anyone or any animal as inately gorgeous as Suzy.  From her black button nose to the tip of her tri-colored, bushy tail, she was perfection with  personality to match,  Delightful, winsome, charming, wise.  Super intelligent and kind-hearted to the core.  Ever protective, always alert.  My closest companion, dearest darling, faithful friend.  To the end.                        And, beyond. . .

A Year and Ten Days

A year and ten days ago, my love was with me.  We were still "us."  A team.  Best friends.  Lovers. How time flies.  Doesn't seem that long ago that Suzy was always by my side.  How difficult those last days were.  Seeing her decline day-after-day, almost minute-by-minute.  Shrinking.  Having more trouble walking yet bravely enduring the "saddle sling" in which I lifted her in and out of the house.  It was hard.  On both of us.


Yet we persevered.  We knew our time was quickly slipping away.  The grim reaper loomed large and unrelating right outside our door.  As Suzy declined so did my spirits.  When she died so did part of me.


I worried how "the end" would finally arrive.  Would I have to put her down to stop her suffering, this magnificent creature who had been with me, through thick and thin, for the past 13 years?  She came to me at 13 months, the divison of a couple who was divorcing and gave her back to the breeder.  She was then advertised through the sheltie rescue team, with the breeder having final say of who "adopted" Suzy.


Of the many people who applied, I was chosen.  Mrs. Heck saw something in me that she wanted for Suzy.  Some connection that transcended simple care and kindness.  Something that told her I would be the best place for Suzy to share her life. 


We traveled to Vermont twice.  Tooled around country inns, town greens, Bingo parlors, tag sales and potluck suppers.  We hiked up Mt. Tom, wandered down winding roads and drove all around the Green Mountains.  We met so many friendly folks who welcomed us into their hearts and homes.  Suzy was a natural at making friends and paved the way for us to meet many wonderful folks along the way.


She helped me grow in so many ways:  emotionally, spiritually, profoundly. And I'd like to think I made her life happier, too.  From the hundreds of photos I took of  those laughing eyes, smiling lips, radiant energy, it appears so. 


A friend.  A mentor. A confidante. My second skin. Intimate shadow. Saint. Sprite. Light. My darling.  My true love.  How time has passed yet stood still since you left my life. 


But never my heart.

My Darling Suzy

The Days Before Our Final Farewell

It's the birthday of the man who wrote the famous words "Tis better to have loved and lost / Than never to have loved at all" and also "Theirs not to reason why, / Theirs but to do and die." That's poet Alfred, Lord Tennyson, (books by this author) born on this day in Lincolnshire, England (1809).

Yes, it's better to have loved and lost but then you live

with heart break forever after

the object of your affection leaves you.  Love has a price.

Stunning, even days before her final farewell.

Suzy and me.  Together forever.

Seems Like Only Yesterday

Suzy was my life, and I, hers.

Inseparable for nearly 14 years

Seems like only yesterday

We strolled the streets,

Cuddled on the couch,

Shared everything possible--and then some.

Traveled the world and felt safe.

Never lonely,

Such good company,

Always present,

Happy.

Healthy,

Sane.

'Twas less than a year ago,

Her clock was running out,

And every tick that passed

Took life from me, too.

Yet, time knows no bounds

On love everlasting.

A Year Ago Today

Suzy looked great even though she was dying and had less than a month to live.  I tried, in vain, taking her to an accupuncturist, a masseuse, various vets, and administering lots of other home remedies.  It was her time to go.  Not mine, I mean I was definitely not ready to let her go.  Not ready to say goodbye to my dearest companion, my closest friend.  The freshest face, loyalist pal and kindest heart I have ever known.   My darling.  My Suzy.

Through Love

Through love bitter things seem sweet.

Through love scraps of copper are turned to gold.

Through love dregs taste like clear wine.

Through love agonies are healing balms.

Through love thorns become roses.

Through love vinegar becomes rich wine.

Through love the scaffold becomes a throne.

Through love disaster becomes good fortune.

Through love a prison becomes a rose garden.

Through love burning fire is a fragrant light.

Through love the devil becomes an angel.

Through love stones become soft as butter.

Through love grief is like delight.

Through love demons become servants of God.

Through love stings are like honey.

Through love lions are harmless as mice.

Through love sickness is health.

Through love the dead are resurrected.

Through love the emperor becomes a slave.

- Jalal-ud-Din Rumi

The Long Goodbye

A year ago, today, my beloved was dying.  Day-by-heartbreaking-day, I witnessed Suzy growing thinner and less capable of walking.  I wrapped a saddle sling around her loins and lifted her in-and-out of the house, at least three times a day, to go potty, get some fresh air, relieve the stagnant breath of stale air that encircled us like a halo of death.

An excruciating time.  I clung to her for dear life, praying, against all odds, that she would bounce back.  From what?  Old age and death?  No one has, and no one ever will.  Still, I prayed.  And hoped.  And cried. And bargained with God that I'd do anything if He'd let my darling live.  I needed her so much!  I couldn't bear to let her go!

Our last month together.  She looked so beautiful right up until the very end.  A stunning dog, a stellar friend, loyal and loving 'til the end.

And beyond. . . .

Relating to Others

"In every message of human significance, the person invests his or her true self, and is affected by the way in which the communication is received. The impact of someone's failure to listen, to receive, understand, and accept may be slight or immense depending on how much personal meaning and value has gone into creating the communication. When the entire self of a person registers in his or her message, the absence of response has painful, numbing consequences. Learning to listen and to hear, learning to respond

to others in a way that respects and encourages them, are

essential experiences in the growth of a relationship".

Clark Moustakas

One of the greatest parts of loving and being with my pets is that they will always respond as outlined above.  Whenever I'm with any of my kits or pup, I am my true self and they appreciate and receive me respectfully & with love; as I wish it was with anyone and everyone I encounter.

And, why not?  Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh, always says, "Hold another gently, as a Mother would hold her baby."  Meaning, give the other person your complete attention.  Be mindful when speaking, engaging with another.

As the above-quote reminds us, "learning to respond to others in a way that respects and encourages them, are essential experiences in the growth of a relationship."

This is true with therapist and client; sister-to-sister, friend-to-friend.  If one cannot connect & communicate with true mindfulness and connection, then perhaps it is better not to connect at all?  For, the one who is giving of their true self will go away feeling hurt and empty.  The one who is shallow and impatient shall also lose precious time and opportunities to connect with depth and meaning.  It will be fruitless.

The above quote is wonderful and should be taken to heart.  Heart-to-heart-to-heart.  Not just between favorite people, sons, daughters, or pets.  But to all people one comes in touch with and, especially, those who reach out and extend their true selves to another with truth, dignity and friendship.

It is a Precious Gift. 

Today's Daily OM

This Daily OM really spoke to me, so I offer it as today's blog:

We come into this world with our own inner wisdom, it knows where we are going and understands where we come from.

Throughout our lives, we will encounter individuals who presume to know what is best for us. The insights they offer cannot compare, however, with the powers of awareness and discernment that already exist within us. From birth we are blessed with wisdom that cannot be learned or unlearned. It exists whether or not we acknowledge it because it is a gift given to us by a loving universe before we chose to experience existence on the earthly plane. Yet for all its permanence, it is vital that we value and honor this incredible element of the self. It is when we do not use our inborn wisdom that we begin to doubt our personal truths and are driven to outside sources of information because we are afraid. What we know to be true in our hearts is invariably true, and we discover how intensely beautiful and useful self-trust can be when we recognize the power of our wisdom.

Inner wisdom is not subject to the influences of the outside world, which means that it will never demand that we surrender our free will or counsel us to act in opposition to our values. We benefit from this inspiration when we open ourselves to it, letting go of the false notion that we are less qualified than others to determine our fate. The wisdom inside of us is the source of our discernment and our ability to identify blessings in disguise. When we are unsure of who to trust, how to respond, or what we require, the answers lie in our inner wisdom. It knows where we are going and understands where we are coming from, taking this into account though it is not a product of experience but rather a piece of our connection to the universal mind.

In the whole of your existence, no force you will ever encounter will contribute as much to your ability to do what you need to do and be who you want to be as your natural wisdom. Through it, you reveal your growing consciousness to the greater source and discover the true extent of your strength. If you heed this wisdom with conviction and confidence, the patterns, people, and fears that held you back will be dismantled, paving the way for you to fulfill your truest potential.

My Ex's 57th Birthday

Today Bob will be 57 years young.  My ex. 
My one and only true love. 

To you, I dedicate this quote:

Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.

~Buddha

 

It has been my great good fortune to have the privilege of meeting and living with eight irrisistible animals who give me unconditional love each and every day.

 

For this I am grateful.

 

It has been almost a year since Suzy died.

 It was at this time, one year ago, that mortality

truly hit me---hard.  And I knew that my beloved and I would

soon be parted---for eternity.

 

Aside from the loss of my husband, this was my greatest loss.

 

Exactly one year ago, today, I went for a camel ride at the

John Ball Zoo in Grand Rapids, MI

I had to get out of the house for a while.

The pain of seeing my darling slowly dying was really

getting to me, so I took off for the zoo with a friend.

We rode camels and took lots of pictures.

I got "out" of myself for a little while.

It's good to do.  Especially when stress, grief and loss

are constant bedfellows.

Sun Day - I'll Say!

Another sunny scorcher.  Should hit 90 with thunder showers predicted later.  Today on my favorite TV show, Sunday Morning, the topic was "Obesity".


Befitting for a nation, now a world, of over-eaters.  Reportedly, the folks in France were the slimest in the world.  Not so, anymore.  With a MacDonald's, now in the Louve, Parisians are putting on as much weight as Americans, maybe more.  Studies show it's not one factor that causes weight gain but a combination of variables.  Some reasons include low-functioning thyroid, depression, genetic predisposition, and anxiety.  In reality, the main culprits are plain old-fashioned over-eating and sedentary lifestyles. 


Guilty, as charged.  I've never been as heavy as I am right now, sans 5 pounds I recently shed, due to walking Sweetie Sue more often and cutting back on sweets as my blood sugar is now in the pre-diabetic zone.  Still, I've never felt as fat, out of shape, tired or lethargic.


The interviewer spoke to a psychologist, a nutritionist, and a physician.  All three specialists agreed it's an inidividual problem and an individual's responsibility to OWN their weight-gain and do something about it.  So, today, I plan to go for an extra-long walk, eat more salads, and journal about how I can be my own best friend in helping my body lose extra pounds.


Tomorrow morning, I intend to call the local hospital's nutrition department and ask if they have a weight-loss management program I might take.  For, I need help!  All the help I can get.  Losing weight, especially alone, is challenging to say the least.  I need some "rah-rah-rah's" and some "sis boom bahs" preferably in the form of supportive medical professionals and not Twinkies!


Okay, here's a shameful admission of my current weight:  162.  I share it to give myself notice that it is now public disclosure, and a vow to myself and the world, that I WILL lose at least 10 pounds by Christmas!


Ho-ho-ho.  :(

Funny Coincidence

Every day I get the Writer's Almanac online.  Today, a funny thing happened, they had a blurb about the author of the fictional character, Perry Mason.  Then, right below it, was a blurb about the comedianne, Phyllis Diller, born today.  Since my ame is Phyllis Perry, I thought it amusing, and so listed both blurbs below.  Enjoy!


It's the birthday of one of the best-selling American novelists of all time, Erle Stanley Gardner, (books by this author) born in Malden, Massachusetts (1889). He's the one who created the character Perry Mason, that noble lawyer who has starred in 80 of Gardner's novels as well as a radio program, a couple of television series, and two dozen TV movies. Perry Mason defends innocent people accused of murder, and he also doubles as an astute crime-solving detective who is able to prove not only his client's innocence but also the identity of the real murderer.



Perry Mason first appears in The Case of the Velvet Claws (1933). Gardner told his publishers that he was creating in Perry Mason the character of "a fighter who is possessed of infinite patience." In one novel, he describes his lawyer hero like this: He was "broad-shouldered and rugged-faced, and his eyes were steady and patient."


Gardner himself was a lawyer. He was suspended from law school for getting into a fistfight and never returned, but then worked as a typist in a law office, studied on his own, and passed the bar exam. He set up a practice in Merced, California, in 1911 and then in downtown Ventura, California, in 1921. His law office in Ventura is still there, being used by other lawyers today. It's one of the stops on the "Perry Mason" walking tours offered in Ventura; so is the old courthouse where he once litigated, which is now the City Hall.


It's the birthday of comedienne Phyllis Diller, (books by this author) born in Lima, Ohio (1917), and often called the "Funniest Woman in the World." She didn't start her career in stand-up comedy until she was middle-aged. But she had spent much of her life as a housewife, telling jokes and doing impersonations and making groups of people laugh. At the Laundromat, she would tell other housewives things like, "I bury a lot of my ironing in the backyard" and "Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?" When she became a professional entertainer, she drew extensively upon her experiences as the mother of five children who struggled to keep her house clean.


In 1955, Diller made her debut at the Purple Onion, a club in San Francisco. She was originally given a contract for two weeks — but her show ended up running at the Purple Onion for 89 weeks.


In her shows, she caricatured the frumpy housewife and appeared on stage with outrageous makeup and ludicrous hairdos. When she took her show on the road to different states, she traveled with two dozen suitcases' worth of costumes and props. She routinely used a cigarette holder, though she did not smoke, and also a fur scarf that she insisted she trapped under the kitchen sink at her home.


One of her trademarks was her distinctive laugh, which has been described by critics as "a braying, cackling laugh." Diller herself said: "My own laugh is the real thing and I've had it all my life. My father used to call me the laughing hyena. Like a yawn or a mood, it's infectious, and that's a great plus for a comic, but I don't just turn it on like some of today's performers. In fact, during the early stages of my career, it was a nervous laugh. I was scared out of my mind. The sweat ran down my back into my shoes."


She became well known when she began to perform regularly on television, often on The Jack Paar Show. She also was a guest on the shows of Ed Sullivan, Red Skelton, Jack Benny, and Andy Williams. She played a role in the film Boy Did I Get a Wrong Number (1966) alongside Bob Hope.


She's the author of several books, including the memoir Like a Lampshade in a Whorehouse (2005).  Phyllis Diller said, "Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."

Moving Forward

One of my hobbies is taking carriage-driving lessons.  Yes, as in "horse-and-carriage."  From the sound of horses hoofs clippity-clopping down the road, to the pastoral vistas all along the drive, to bonding with my steed, to the sight, sounds and smells of the countryside.  In short, everything about the sport of pleasure driving delights my senses and tickles my fancy.


One of the most important lessons my teacher taught me was this:  keep the horse forward moving.  As she said, if he ever starts going backward, you've lost ALL control and it could be dangerous--even deadly.  For, the lines or reins are all the driver has, to connect with that animal who is in charge of the movement of the carriage.  And, once he starts walking backwards, the driver is no longer in control.  It's an accident-in-the-making, a calamity waiting to happen, in short, a total disaster.


Like so many life lessons learned from sports or hobbies, I understand this "backing up" to mean keep your eye on the ball, keep moving, stay alert, be connected, communicative and concise, creative, un-cowardly.  Get enough rest to feel in touch--with myself, the  roads, traffic, mood, nuances and personalities of the horses I drive.  Don't expect more from an animal (or person) than they are capable of giving, sharing or producing.


So often, in life, I feel let down, rejected, ignored, shunned or diss-ed.  By lots of people.  For no good reason (that I can think of).  Just happens.  And, I'm left wallowing in my sadness or depression.  Feeling bad, sad, mad.  All because I keep rehashing the slight or offense. In short, going backwards emotionally.  Not letting go and moving forward---with my thoughts, my dreams, my life.


This is a mistake many of us make.  Over-and-over, again.  We say we "can't help it" or that something "made us" feel bad and we can't shake it.  But, like the carriage-driver, the more knowledge and experience one has, the smoother and safer their connection with the horse and driving experiences will be.  But, not only experience.


Just like a horse needs to "collect" itself or maintain a 4-beat gait to trot smoothly, so I need to collect myself in thought, word and deed to live happily.  I need to get quiet at least once a day, to meditate, ground myself in peace and harmony so my soul will be able to handle any backward encounters that often come in everyday life---in all of our lives.  Going backwards, in any way, shape or form can be hazardous to carriage drivers, highway drivers and drivers in all walks of life.


It's part and parcel of being human.  To feel sad sometimes.  To wish things were different.  To want acceptance, comraderie, familial relations, mental stimulation, enjoyment, harmony, and love.  But the thing to remember is that driving backwards is not only risky but downright dangerous.  To one's health, heart and happiness.  Moving forward is a much better bet.

From The Writer's Almanac

It's the birthday of the essayist and children's writer E.B. White, (books by this author) born Elwin Brooks White in Mount Vernon, New York (1899). After a young pig he was raising got sick and he failed to save its life, he wrote one of his most famous essays, "Death of a Pig." Then he wrote a children's novel in which the pig doesn't have to die: Charlotte's Web (1952). It's the story of a runt pig named Wilbur who is saved the first time by a little girl and the second time by a wise spider. It is one of the best-selling children's books of all time.



E.B. White said: "I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day."


It was on this day 151 years ago that Charles Dickens' (books by this author) novel A Tale of Two Cities (1859) was published. It begins:


"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair ..."


Fifty years ago today, Harper Lee's (books by this author) only novel, To Kill a Mockingbird,was published, the story narrated by six-year-old Scout Finch in the fictional town of Maycomb, Alabama. It was an immediate best-seller, a Pulitzer Prize winner, and an instant American classic. It continues to sell incredibly well, with 30 million copies still in print.


The book's title appears in a scene in chapter 10, where Scout remembers something her dad, Atticus, has said and asks her neighbor Miss Maudie about it.


"I'd rather you shot at tin cans in the back yard, but I know you'll go after birds. Shoot all the bluejays you want, if you can hit 'em, but remember it's a sin to kill a mockingbird." That was the only time I ever heard Atticus say it was a sin to do something, and I asked Miss Maudie about it.


"Your father's right," she said. "Mockingbirds don't do one thing but make music for us to enjoy. They don't eat up people's gardens, don't nest in corncribs, they don't do one thing but sing their hearts out for us. That's why it's a sin to kill a mockingbird."