Compassion Fatigue

Have you ever felt burned out?  The stories we hear on the news often leave us feeling tired, depleted and un-well.  I know they do me.  And, there's actually a term for this malady, called, "Compassion Fatigue."  I hadn't heard of it before a friend coined it, recently,  and mentioned an interview, with Tulane Professor of Social Work, Charles Figley, on NPR (June 4, 2010) Plus there's a book, of the same title, by journalist, Susan Moeller.  Check it out.


http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=127477675  (Link to interview)


Being a sensitive person, I suffer from compassion fatigue frequently.  It's not only the news that has me in a whirl but also the stories I hear from friends, family and folks I chance to meet and chat with for more than a few minutes.  For, everyone has their tales of woe, their memories of coulda, shoulda, woulda and probably more than a few regrets.  That's the human condition.


This week, I learned that my niece has gotten involved with the law in Los Angeles and is now awaiting a hearing to decide her fate.  She insists she was just "at the wrong place at the wrong time" and I believe her.  Nevertheless, she's being held, and nothing will be decided until her hearing in a couple weeks.  I feel so bad for her.  We spoke on the phone, recently, and she sounded fine.  Now, her whole world is upside down.  And I'm feeling the distortion.


Last night I was at a spiritual friends group.  There were four women present, and we all shared thoughts and feelings about our lives and discussed a book we're reading, Buddha's Nature.  One woman disclosed something so upsetting to me, I woke up this morning feeling ill over it.  She said she "shaves" her cat!  What?  I could only imagine the struggle and torture that poor cat feels as he's held down and shaved.  I shuddered, as she told the tale, and spoke up, much to the chagrin of the others (who felt uncomfortable with my passionate rant--oh, poor babys) and said it was just plain "wrong."  I held my ground and didn't budge when another woman defended the cat-shaver and said it was because the cat had long hair and throws up hair-balls.  Well, DUH--it's a cat!  Cats have contended with hair-balls since time immemorial.  So, what else is new?  It doesn't merit shaving the poor creature!  Compassion fatigue to-the-max over this one.


Also, this week, the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico got worse.  I saw photos of birds and fish soaked in oil, struggling for their lives, many already dead on the shores.  It sickened me to see these poor, innocent creatures perishing at the hands of incompetent or short-sighted oil workers.  It's horrible, and the reverberations of this spill plus the hole its leaving in our oceans and waterways is a blow to anyone who cares about the environment.


Then, there's the recent deaths of celebrities I grew up with:  Dennis Hopper from EASY RIDER, Rue McClanahan from THE GOLDEN GIRLS and Gary Coleman from DIFFERENT STROKES.  The first two were in their early 70s--not old by any mean.  And the third, Gary Coleman, was only 42 with a lifetime of medical problems.  I reviewed scenes from, THE GOLDEN GIRLS, online this week, laughed out loud at how comedic and convincing "Blanche" (Rue McClanahan) was and sighed a heavy heart to think she's now gone forever.


As is Suzy.  As is my Dad.  As is Mr. Sannes my best friend and piano tuner for 25 years.  As is Emmett Leith while his wife, June, goes downhill every day with Alzheimer's.  As are so many namesless and faceless soldiers in Iraq and other wars.  As are countless people in counteless towns all over the globe.  And animals---who are poached, hunted, captured, ignored, neglected, exploited, straved, beaten or abandoned day after day.


Compassion Fatigue:  it's alive and well.  To recognize it is the first step in healing.  When the plane is going down, it's vital to put on your OWN oxygen mask, first.  Then, help others.  The antidote to this kind of exhaustion is joy. Take care to do things that bring you happiness and a light heart.  Try not to dwell on what you can't fix or resolve---in your personal life and around the world.


That's not to say, "don't care" or "ignore everything that doesn't benefit you directly." No.  It means focus on the good in your life and help out whenever you can.  Pray.  Write letters.  Meditate.  Go for long walks.  Love someone or something deeply.  Send positive, healing thoughts to those in need. 


You CAN do something yet don't have to get bogged down in the muck.  Above all, find pockets of joy for yourself.  Do what brings a smile to your face.  Try to feel better spiritually and emotionally.  Take heart:  and find the sunshine.

Stop to Smell the Peonies

"Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend- or a meaningful day."

Make It Count

This just in from a camera club friend on the heels of losing one of his best friends:


Damn this life!
I just came out of my best friend's funeral
and going to another this Friday
It is so deeply saddening
when life so suddenly turns inside out
and flies away


I want to make sure that every one of you
who's out there photographing
or in any field of art
makes sure your art says something
has a meaning
and makes someone remember our times
in peaceful settings
and brings back the good things
that were between us


Photograph a friend
He may not be with you tomorrow
Photograph a place
that brings refreshing ideas to all who view it


Say something that is meaningful
with colors and flowers
with fields of roses
which rise to say greetings
to anyone who looks at them


Bring back from the fields of photography
images that blend with people's souls
and make them shine
There are no reasons
why you shouldn't do anything different


Bring the brighter light to places that are meaningful
and darken the places that are just going along for the ride
That is all I want to say


Make your photographs
not as a frozen moment
but a glowing segment of life to be looked at


Hosain