Our Last Day Together

A year ago today my life stopped.  A siginificant part, that is, when Suzy left me forever.  It was a gray day much like today. 

I hired a student helper to dig her grave and go with us to the vet's for our final farewell.  She had difficulty walking on her own, stopped eating and wasn't even drinking water, now.  I waited as long as I could.  Death was imminent.  We both knew.  We both grieved.  We both died inside.

When you lose someone you're extremely close to, it is a death on both sides.  For, so much of the closeness and joy you shared, with that Being, will cease.  Life is hard enough on its own current, but add the loss of a meaningful relationship, and you're shipwrecked, washed ashore, tumbling over the rapids---going down.

And, we did.  Suzy into the ground.  Me, into an abyss.  Our final hours were spent together walking, hugging, kissing, loving each other 'til the last second when I left her on a little rug in the exam room at our vet's office. 

Our eyes locked as I slowly backed out of the room, maintaining close contact every millimeter of the way out.  I'll never forget her gaze, telling me it was "okay" and that it was "time to say farewell."  For, it was only with her permission, and support, that I could've said farewell forever. 

She let me let her go.  It was the only way I could.  She's still with me in spirit and heart.  My mind travels to wherever she is, now, and visits her memory often.  Her grave sits right outside my window, in our backyard, where I go often to pay my respects and offer my love, even now.  And, forever.

Farwell, old friend.  You are gone, and I am with you. . farewell.
I'll love you forever.