Compassion Fatigue

Have you ever felt burned out?  The stories we hear on the news often leave us feeling tired, depleted and un-well.  I know they do me.  And, there's actually a term for this malady, called, "Compassion Fatigue."  I hadn't heard of it before a friend coined it, recently,  and mentioned an interview, with Tulane Professor of Social Work, Charles Figley, on NPR (June 4, 2010) Plus there's a book, of the same title, by journalist, Susan Moeller.  Check it out.


http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=127477675  (Link to interview)


Being a sensitive person, I suffer from compassion fatigue frequently.  It's not only the news that has me in a whirl but also the stories I hear from friends, family and folks I chance to meet and chat with for more than a few minutes.  For, everyone has their tales of woe, their memories of coulda, shoulda, woulda and probably more than a few regrets.  That's the human condition.


This week, I learned that my niece has gotten involved with the law in Los Angeles and is now awaiting a hearing to decide her fate.  She insists she was just "at the wrong place at the wrong time" and I believe her.  Nevertheless, she's being held, and nothing will be decided until her hearing in a couple weeks.  I feel so bad for her.  We spoke on the phone, recently, and she sounded fine.  Now, her whole world is upside down.  And I'm feeling the distortion.


Last night I was at a spiritual friends group.  There were four women present, and we all shared thoughts and feelings about our lives and discussed a book we're reading, Buddha's Nature.  One woman disclosed something so upsetting to me, I woke up this morning feeling ill over it.  She said she "shaves" her cat!  What?  I could only imagine the struggle and torture that poor cat feels as he's held down and shaved.  I shuddered, as she told the tale, and spoke up, much to the chagrin of the others (who felt uncomfortable with my passionate rant--oh, poor babys) and said it was just plain "wrong."  I held my ground and didn't budge when another woman defended the cat-shaver and said it was because the cat had long hair and throws up hair-balls.  Well, DUH--it's a cat!  Cats have contended with hair-balls since time immemorial.  So, what else is new?  It doesn't merit shaving the poor creature!  Compassion fatigue to-the-max over this one.


Also, this week, the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico got worse.  I saw photos of birds and fish soaked in oil, struggling for their lives, many already dead on the shores.  It sickened me to see these poor, innocent creatures perishing at the hands of incompetent or short-sighted oil workers.  It's horrible, and the reverberations of this spill plus the hole its leaving in our oceans and waterways is a blow to anyone who cares about the environment.


Then, there's the recent deaths of celebrities I grew up with:  Dennis Hopper from EASY RIDER, Rue McClanahan from THE GOLDEN GIRLS and Gary Coleman from DIFFERENT STROKES.  The first two were in their early 70s--not old by any mean.  And the third, Gary Coleman, was only 42 with a lifetime of medical problems.  I reviewed scenes from, THE GOLDEN GIRLS, online this week, laughed out loud at how comedic and convincing "Blanche" (Rue McClanahan) was and sighed a heavy heart to think she's now gone forever.


As is Suzy.  As is my Dad.  As is Mr. Sannes my best friend and piano tuner for 25 years.  As is Emmett Leith while his wife, June, goes downhill every day with Alzheimer's.  As are so many namesless and faceless soldiers in Iraq and other wars.  As are countless people in counteless towns all over the globe.  And animals---who are poached, hunted, captured, ignored, neglected, exploited, straved, beaten or abandoned day after day.


Compassion Fatigue:  it's alive and well.  To recognize it is the first step in healing.  When the plane is going down, it's vital to put on your OWN oxygen mask, first.  Then, help others.  The antidote to this kind of exhaustion is joy. Take care to do things that bring you happiness and a light heart.  Try not to dwell on what you can't fix or resolve---in your personal life and around the world.


That's not to say, "don't care" or "ignore everything that doesn't benefit you directly." No.  It means focus on the good in your life and help out whenever you can.  Pray.  Write letters.  Meditate.  Go for long walks.  Love someone or something deeply.  Send positive, healing thoughts to those in need. 


You CAN do something yet don't have to get bogged down in the muck.  Above all, find pockets of joy for yourself.  Do what brings a smile to your face.  Try to feel better spiritually and emotionally.  Take heart:  and find the sunshine.

Stop to Smell the Peonies

"Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend- or a meaningful day."

Make It Count

This just in from a camera club friend on the heels of losing one of his best friends:


Damn this life!
I just came out of my best friend's funeral
and going to another this Friday
It is so deeply saddening
when life so suddenly turns inside out
and flies away


I want to make sure that every one of you
who's out there photographing
or in any field of art
makes sure your art says something
has a meaning
and makes someone remember our times
in peaceful settings
and brings back the good things
that were between us


Photograph a friend
He may not be with you tomorrow
Photograph a place
that brings refreshing ideas to all who view it


Say something that is meaningful
with colors and flowers
with fields of roses
which rise to say greetings
to anyone who looks at them


Bring back from the fields of photography
images that blend with people's souls
and make them shine
There are no reasons
why you shouldn't do anything different


Bring the brighter light to places that are meaningful
and darken the places that are just going along for the ride
That is all I want to say


Make your photographs
not as a frozen moment
but a glowing segment of life to be looked at


Hosain

Poetry and Prose

It's the birthday of the 35th president of the United States, John F. Kennedy, born in Brookline, Massachusetts (1917), who said in one of his last major public speeches,

"When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations."

LOVE

Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weakness.
 

Love is content with the present, it hopes for the future, and it doesn’t brood over the past. It’s the day-in and day-out chronicle of irritations, problems, compromises, small disappointments, big victories and working toward common goals.

If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things that are missing. If you don’t have love in your life, no matter what else there is, it’s not enough.

Wise Wolves

An old Grandfather, whose grandson came to him with anger at a schoolmate who had done him an injustice, said, "Let me tell you a story. I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do. But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times."



He continued, "It is as if there are two wolves inside me; one is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way."


"But the other wolf, ah! He is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit."


The boy looked intently into his Grandfather's eye and asked, "Which one wins, Grandfather?"


The Grandfather solemnly said, "The one I feed."

Fickle Friday

What a week.  Been under-the-weather for the most part.  Physically and emotionally.  Just how it goes.  My sister was in for 3 days but we just talked by phone in our usual snitches and snatches while Mom was in the bathroom or otherwise indisposed.  Was okay 'cause my throat was so sore I couldn't really talk.  Still, felt somewhat detached.  Just what I'm not in the mood for these days. . .


Best friend went to a James Taylor/Carole King concert last night that I would've loved to have gone go to, but it was about 2 hours away, in Pontiac.  She told me she and her husband went after they got home.  Said it was absolutely fantastic.  I'll bet.  (Would've been nice if they'd invited me along---even just for the ride!)


Then, there's the issue of my delightful Smilebox musical medley of the NY trip.  All 211 slides carefully edited and set to music with original captions on each pic.  I'd sent it to a number of friends, hoping they'd enjoy it and comment likewise.  Instead, I got back dribbles and drabbles of pure drivel.  One liners like "This is fun."  Or, "now I've seen more of NY than when I wen there."  Nice but, c'mon. . . .when someone puts over 2 weeks of hard labor into a whimsical musical production, I think more than throw-away one-liners are in order, don't you?


Am I overly-sensitive or what?  Do I expect more from humans than they rightly (or wrongly) are able to give?  Am I just lonely?  Like all the time?  Makes one wonder. . .


And then, to cap off the week of slights. . . I was supposed to be interviewed for a short TV news segment yesterday.  It was about my call for action on a laptop that went black on me less than 2 years after I'd bought it for $1100.  Yeah.  So the reporter was supposed to come to my house and interview me on my deck.  I spent the better part of 3 days planting annuals, sweeping porches and paths, cleaning the whole house (in case it rained and we had to come in) and getting myself gussied up and ready for my 15 seconds of fame.


All to no avial.  For, he called minutes before he was due here, to say his video crew had been sent on another assignment and siad he'd get back in touch next week sometime.  That's show biz! 


Such is life this week.  Time to go to garage sales.  Hope there's a pot-o-gold at the end of some rainbow!

BEST THING THAT HAPPENED ALL WEEK:
THIS PHOTO OF HONEY