Robben Fleming's Memorial

Yesterday I went to a memorial service for one of the finest gentlemen I've ever known, and  President of my alma mater, The University of Michigan from 1968 to 1978 overlapping my 4-year tenure as an undergraduate there. Refine, relaxed, gentile and gentle were just a few descriptions of this 6'4, soft-spoken leader. 

He served during some of the most tumultuous years at the University.  It was the Vietnam era, and there were draft dodgers and protestors, the BAM (Black Action Movement) strike, the John Sinclair House and the Chicago 7 hang-outs around town.  When students protested on his lawn and police were called, Dr. Fleming calmly walked up to the police and said, "I think they'd all leave if you just went away" then paused and softly said, "besides, they have midterms, now, and need to get back to study."

Some of the speakers had this to say about him:  "He led by example."  "He was always calm, patient and open  to others' opinions."  "Mrs. Fleming was the wind under his wings."  "He was  great role model, slow to anger, willing to forgive, a great listener---and he loved basketball."  "He was a man of faith."  "He ministered to all he encountered with humility, honesty and service."  "He had a true grasp of what leadership meant and shared that with others." "He had very strong Midwestern tendencies of integrity, character and humor."  "He was truly a man of character and grace.  Warm, witty and dignified.  A perfect leader for an imperfect time."

When I was a student at University of Michigan, I went to the President's Open House 3 of the 4 years I was there.  I met and shook hands with President Fleming and his wife, Sally.  Never did I think I'd be attending his memorial service nearly 40 years later.  When I'd heard he was in Glacier Hills, about 5 months ago, I initially had an idea of going to meet with him, talk about the old days, see how he was feeling about them and the ensuing years and write a kind of Tuesdays With Morrie book about our meetings.

But, I waited.  And waited.  And waited.  For what?  Was I too intimidated to appraoch him?  What was I scared of?  That he'd think I was pushy or nervy or what?  From what I heard and learned at the memorial service, he would've welcomed a former student, a visitor, someone to chat with regularly.  We might've struck up a cordial friendship.  Wait---indeed.

"Don't put off for tomorrow what you can do today." Weight broke the wagon."  Wait, for what?  Why?  As I sadly discovered, waiting is futile, a waste of time, life and love.  Had I gone to see Dr. Fleming when I first found out he was there, I may have opened a window of opportunity---for friendship, fellowship, laughter and learning. I may have written a book about his life and times.  He may have welcomed a visitor.  We might have shared something special.

A soft tongue can break hard bones.

Proverbs

Sweetie Sue's First Day as a Volunteer

Today we went to an assisted living facility where most residents were over the age of 80.  I thought it high time that Sweetie Sue bring some happiness into older folks' lives. 

We arrived at 3:00 in the afternoon and were greeted by the hospitality director.  She escorted us up to the third floor where we were greeted by a foyer-full of octogenarians who couldn't wait to see, pet, stroke, pat, touch and cuddle this 30 pound blond fur ball.

At first, Sweetie was so excited, all she could do was run around in a near-delirious state.  The seniors smiled, laughed and pointed at her as she whisked by them one-by-one.  Many reached out to touch her, hoping she would grace their laps or sides.  But Sweetie kept moving.
Finally, she started making friends. First, the lady in blue reached out and tossledSweetie's head. Next, the lady in white followed by the lady in green. Next, a group of men delighted in patting their laps in hopes Sweetie would jump up. That didn't happen, but she did manage to wrap herself around one gentleman's leg and peek out as I snapped her picture. 

By this time, she was feeling her oats and making new friends by the minute.  She quickly jumped up next to one lady who kept reaching out for her. Fast-friends, now, they cuddled and giggled and you could've sworn the lady was ten years old, again.  This display of good cheer and pure joy made me think how important a sense of connection with something, anything living and resonsive, is for good mental and physical health.  By stroking Sweetie's soft fur, a sensualawakening began to happen.  I could see it in their eyes, hear it in their laughter, feel it in the room---viscerally, like hot sun on wet skin. 

For the next hour, Sweetie romped and ran, dazzled and delighted, lept and loved each and every one of the senior citizens who came to see her as the activity of the day.  We were asked back and plan to make this a regular outing.  For there's not enough lovingkindness in the world.  And we can certainly add to the mix by sharing the good vibes and rich feelings we share with the folks at this and many other assisted living and senior centers around town.

When you have love in your life, it's important to share it.  With as many people as possible.  The good feelings I have and share with all of my pets recharge my emotional battery & make it possible for me to spread the good feelings around.      

May everyone be blessed with an abundance of love so they can plant their own gardens and sow seeds of kindness in every direction.

True Love is Not Charity

"Love is not charity, cannot be given randomly."

Hwa Sung

This quote was left as a comment, in Chinese, after a blog I wrote a few days ago entitled, Smile.  One of my Chinese-American friends asked her Mother to translate the message, and this is the quote she wrote.  I thought it poignant and true and, so, felt inspired to write about it in today's blog.

Love is not charity.  It comes from a strong feeling, many believe, originates in our hearts.  I agree.  For, anyone or anything I've truly loved came from an inner feeling, an inside source, a flow and force of energy from my very soul.  I didn't have to "think" about it, I just felt love or loving energy eminating from deep inside.  It was as if my body knew it before my mind did.

When I fell in love with my husband (now departed,) when I found my first dog, Casey at the humane society, same for Suzy, my second dog, at the Sheltie Rescue and, now, for Sweetie Sue who, again, I discovered at the humane society.  Same for my cats, my Mother, sister, and other friends.  It's a deep-rooted feeling that comes from my heart.  And, as the quote says, it's not charity.

The other observation I have about love, is that it's best when reciprocated.  That is, when it flows naturally from the beloved.  Although, it's not conditional and need not depend whether the object of one's affections loves them back, or to the same degree.  And randomness of birth doesn't guarantee love between relations, either, sad to say. I have natural love for my cats, dogs, sister and Mother.  It's there & is reciprocated without words, gifts, letters or billboards. 
It's just there, and we all know and feel it.  Doesn't need to be shouted from the rooftops or cast in stone.  It flows and exists. That's all we need to feel, and we do.

If one is lucky enough to have love in one's life, whether by loving or feeling loved, one might smile and say a prayer of thanks every day.  I know I do.

Blessings

Go out into the world where your heart calls you. The blessings will come, I promise you that. I wish for you the insight to recognize the blessings as such, and sometimes it's hard. But you'll know it's a blessing if you are enriched and transformed by the experience. So be ready. There are great souls and teachers everywhere. It's your job to recognize them.

Sy Montgomery

American Author, Naturalist and Radio Commentator

How many times have you felt totally at peace, in joy, and harmony with yourself, your soul and your world?  When time stopped and you felt totally at one with wherever you were, whatever you were doing and whoever you were with?

It happens to me, from time-to-time, and I know it when it's happening.  I hear the cool notes of harmony resonate with my spirit and see, with clear eyes of the soul, looking out---and in.  It just feels right.  Like when I'm driving a horse and carriage.  Or taking Sweetie Sue for a walk.  Or playing with my kits.  Or spending time with a close friend.  Or appreciating the wonder and majesty of Nature.  It feels good and right and love-ly.  In love.  In light.  In peace.

Another thought is:  how often do you let yourself enjoy and engage in such pastimes?  Are you working too much?  Too hard?  Too intensely to enjoy anything?  Why? 

Step back.  Look at the bigger picture.  You'll be dead for eternity.  So, why not play as much as possible here and now, while you're alive?  I don't think anyone in the cemetary ever regretted not playing enough.  Or loving enough.  Or living-to-the-fullest-richest-and happiest enough. 

It starts (and stops) with you.  Let the beauty, and blessings, BEGIN!

Friends

STONE

TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING

THROUGH THE DESERT .

DURING SOME POINT OF THE

JOURNEY, THEY HAD AN

ARGUMENT; AND ONE FRIEND

SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE

IN THE FACE.

THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED

WAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT

SAYING ANYTHING,

WROTE IN THE SAND ,

"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND

SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE ."

THEY KEPT ON WALKING,

UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS,

WHERE THEY DECIDED

TO TAKE A BATH .

THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN

SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE

MIRE AND STARTED DROWNING,

BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM.

AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM

THE NEAR DROWNING,

HE WROTE ON A STONE:

"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND

SAVED MY LIFE."

THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED

AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND

ASKED HIM, "AFTER I HURT YOU,

YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW,

YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?"

THE FRIEND REPLIED,

"WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US

WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN

IN SAND, WHERE WINDS OF

FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY.

BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES

SOMETHING GOOD FOR US,

WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE

WHERE NO WIND

CAN EVER ERASE IT."

LEARN TO WRITE

YOUR HURTS IN

THE SAND AND TO

CARVE YOUR

BLESSINGS IN STONE.

THEY SAY IT TAKES A
MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL

PERSON,

AN HOUR TO

APPRECIATE THEM,

A DAY

TO LOVE THEM,

BUT THEN,

AN ENTIRE LIFE

TO FORGET THEM.

DO NOT VALUE THE THINGS

YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE, BUT VALUE

WHO YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE!

Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet

is fighting some kind of battle

Let Your Light Shine

We are cups, constantly and quietly being filled.

The trick is knowing how to tip ourselves over and let the beautiful stuff out.

Ray Bradbury

American Author

Have you ever been in a restaurant (or any public place) and overheard a conversation about less-than-savory topics?  I have.  And, it puts me in a dour mood for the rest of the day.  Sure, I may be overly-sensitive to begin with, but upon hearing a distasteful bit of news, part of me shuts down or goes to the "dark place" inside.  For longer than I should.

Words have the power to teach, taunt, tease and tickle.  Then can enhance our lives or swat us down.  So why, as Ray Bradbury suggests, don't we tip ourselves over and let the beautiful stuff out more often?

A smile, a nod, a wink of the eye.  A connection.  With another--even a tree.  Why do we burrow and furrow, wince and wail when we can laugh and giggle, frolic and folly with one another?  To me it's a waste of life not to partake of the joys and opportunities that present themselves to us.  As Auntie Mame says, "Life's a banquet.  And most poor sons-of-bitches are starving to death!"

Amen.

Smile

There's a wonderful song called, Smile, written by Charlie Chaplin for his 1936 film, Modern Times. 
It goes like this:

Smile tho' your heart is aching,
Smile even tho' it's breaking,

When there are clouds in the sky

You'll get by,

If you smile

thro' your fear and sorrow,

Smile and maybe tomorrow,

You'll see the sun come shin-ing thro' for you

Light up your face with gladness,

Hide ev-'ry trace of sadness,

Al -'tho a tear may be ever so near,

That's the time,

You must keep on trying,

Smile, what's the use of crying,

You'll find that life is still worth-while,

If you just smile.

Then, this from Mother Teresa:

“Smile at each other,

Smile at your wife, smile at your husband, smile at your children, smile at each other -- it doesn't matter who it is -- and that will help you to grow up in greater love for each other.”

Ever hear that a smile can alter one's mood?  Just the physical up-turning of one's mouth can infuse one's psyche with happiness and hope. 

Worth trying, don't you think?

I know Sweetie Sue does!