Surprise, Surprise

Last week started out heavy and ended lighter, thank goodness.  After I lost both my substitute teaching job AND my extras film role, I got an e-mail from my agent asking if I could work as an extra on TRUST last Friday.  Of course, I jumped at the opportunity and ended up spending 13 hours with David Schwimmer, the director and Clive Owen, the hunky star.

We filmed at a nearby school.  Outside, I was a parent walking back to my car with my daughter.  And, inside, I was a parent rooting for her in the gymnasium as she played volleyball.  Then, Clive Owen had to walk across the gym, single out the perpetrator who's bugging his daughter on the internet, and beat him up. It was really exciting although, I must admit, I detest violence of any kind. 

Still, it was Hollywood!  It was the movies, and I was in it--yey!  The only thing that really bothered me that day was that they served a gourmet meal, of succulent scallops, prime rib, pepper steak, redskins, corn, pies of all kinds plus two healthy salads, one a spinach and the other romaine and other dark greens with savory dressings.  Yet, for the "extras," they set up a separate buffet of macaroni and cheese, little chicken wings and iceburg lettuce called "salad."  Yuck!

Discrimination, period, bothers me.  And when it's directed at my tummy, to deny me nutritious food due to greediness, then I have a problem with these intentions.  I mean, after all, a Hollywood film is budgeted in the millions, so what's the difference, a few pennies?  This was the first film set I've been involved with that did that--separated the cast and crew's food from the extras (peons.)  And that's simply not right. It harkens to discrimination anywhere, any time. 

Nutrition, of any kind, should be shared.  Sustenance is important for everyone.  Whether it be in the form of food, nurturing, parental/sibling relationships or personal exchanges.  Anything that provides qualities that enhance one's life and extend one's longevity, should be shared equally.  The optimum word being "equal."  For when there's discrimination, there is violence.  Whether it be passive, as in the separate food for extras, or blatant, as in the race riots of the 60s, hosing of Kent State student protestors or any number of national or global acts of aggression.  It's all just plain WRONG.

If animals ruled the world, especially pups like Suzy, we'd all be much better off.  For there would be no discrimination.  Only equality, kindness and love.

Blue Monday, Tuesday. . .Wednesday?

This week started out bad.  I gave up a film role in a major motion picture (as an extra but, still. . .) to go to a substitute teaching job and, then, that job got canceled because I called the teacher the night before, just to confrm I'd be there tomorrow for her, and she realized she'd entered the wrong day for her absence and quickly corrected it by canceling the job all together.  Thus, leaving me in the lurch, without my coveted film role OR sub. job---at 10 PM Sunday night.  (Too late to do anything about anything!)  BUMMER!

The film is calld TRUST and is directed by David Schwimmer, of FRIENDS fame, and stars Clive Owen, of movie star (DUPLICITY with Julia Roberts) fame.  I love going to the set, having opportunities to network, make new friends and maybe see myself in a major motion picture.  But, that wasn't to be.  This week at least.

Last night I met my Mom and sister for dinner.  We all ordered Talapia which was tasty and delicious.  Then chatted and laughed about one thing and another, me, recanting how I lost both jobs through slight-of-hand life screw ups and acting as if everything was tragically funny, just my luck, yuck, yuck, yuck.

Within 20 minutes of leaving the restaurant, I got a case of heartburn royale!  My chest constricted leaving me paralyzed with pain and fear.  All I could do was go home and sit on the can.  Remain still as a board or else shooting pain would engulf my chest.  After 4 hours, I was finally able to lie down and drift off.

The body knows.  Always.  And reacts.  And protects.  And warns.  And admonishes.  What is my body telling me?  Heartburn desguised as heart ache?

Thinkin' of You

Sunny Saturday.  Leaves abound on the ground.  Your wood carving stands proud and tall. Yet, I miss you so. All is lost without you. Time
marches on, waits for no one.  Trite but true.  My sweet Sue.

Since you left me, 2 and a half months ago, I think of you every day, and it feels like we're still together.  No amount of time will erase that.  Sometimes tears flow at unexpected times like last night. I thought I might have to pull over but managed to steer safely on home.  Moments of our times together come and go but never fade.  Your presence is as vivid in sun or shade.

Just want you to know the kits are keeping me good company.  But they'll never replace a single golden hair on your head.  Your silky fur, a blam to my anxious soul, your steadfast gaze reassured me so.  Your companionship was stellar, your loyalty unlike any other. 

Thank you for 14 enchanting years.

Sunday Dreams

Autumn days are here

The start of another year

Without

My Suzy.

Falling leaves drift down

All around the ground

Without

My Suzy.

Remember days past

A year ago last

With

My Suzy.

When I rustled leaves and

Walked past streams

With

My Suzy.

Here's to you

Ever so true

Memories of

My Suzy.

Halloweens With Suzy

This will be the first Halloween in 14 years without Suzy.  When she was a pup, she'd charge the door whenever trick-or-treaters came a'calling.  Full of anticipation, curiosity and joy, Suzy was totally involved in the festivities, the life-of-the-party, the bell-of-the-ball.

As years went by, she grew more self-controlled (for a Sheltie, that is) and would be right by my side as I handed out Butterfingers and Snickers Bars.  Often a few kids, or their parents, would oogle and ahh over Suzy's beauty and charm.  Sometimes we'd get requests to pet or let her come out on the porch. She always obliged, with wagging tail and big Suzy-smile!  The kids were as thrilled as I.

In recent years, Suzy lay in the living room and watched the festivities from afar.  Now a senior citizen, she was content to preside but not participate.  To observe rather than officiate.  Yet, if kids or parents ever got a glimpse of her through the front door, they'd still request a pet or a pat, still oogle and ahh, still be entranced by her presence and beauty.  No matter the occasion, it was fun with Suzy around.

This year I'm going to dinner and a play.  The house will be dark.

Listen to the Beat

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly.

What is essential is invisible to the eye."

--Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Inner knowing.  We all have it.  Especially when it comes to matters of the heart.  Ever meet someone you felt as if you'd known all your life?  Or maybe even all of eternity?  It could be a person, a pet, a plant or even a feeling.  The familiarity with which you connect with that Being is everything and tells your nervous system that you're home at last.

Usually we bond with our pets in this atmosphere of gentle companionship.  When nothing special is asked of us and nothing special expected.  Just being together is enough.  And being together is, therefore, healing.  For when we feel comfortable, at ease and relaxed, we are in healing mode.  Our nerve endings can go off duty.  Our breathing deepens and relaxes every muscle in our bodies.  Grace tends to work that way.

Suzy taught me so many lessons about grace.  And patience, forgiveness, sharing, caring, forebearance, loyalty, true friendship and love.  Suzy was my little professor of the heart and taught her only student well.  She was always an open book & instructed me to look forward never back.  Anticipate life with a smile not a frown.  Give others the benefit of the doubt and never question one's motives.  Always accept others at their word, and don't try to read into anything one says, for you'll most assuredly be wrong at least 50% of the time.

Suzy stressed the importance of really being with someone when you're together.  Listen not only to what people say but how they say it, the tone they use.  Watch body language.   A firm, "no" might mean one thing, while a smile and a nod definitely mean something else.  Often silence was the best way we could share each other's company fully and deeply.  Whether through walks in the woods or sharing a fireside belly rub and chat, words were not necessary when we felt undivided attention and strong bonds of friendship between us.

"Be here now" was a popular phrase in the 60s, originally coined by transendental guru, Ram Das.  I never knew where it originated but, now, I think he got it from his dog.

Memories Are Friends

"Let children walk with Nature, let them see the beautiful blendings and communions of death and life, their joyous inseparable unity, as taught in woods and meadows, plains and mountains and streams of our blessed star, and they will learn that death is stingless indeed, and as beautiful as life." --John Muir

 

Happy Sunday to All
  Enjoy Our Season of Autumn Delights!