Thoughts on a Snowy Day

The success of love is in the loving - it is not in the result of loving. Of course it is natural in love to want the best for the other person, but whether it turns out that way or not does not determine the value of what we have done.

Mother Teresa, 1910-1997

Catholic Nun, Servant to the Poor, Nobel Prize Recipient

When I think about the people I love or have loved in my life, I feel a barrage of emotions.  From early childhood, when my Mother cared for and protected me, to my marriage, divorce, years alone, time with good friends and, now, with my seven kits and Sweetie Sue pup, I wouldn't trade the memories for anything.

When my dear friend and player piano tuner of 25 years lay dying, two years ago, I sat by his bedside and held his hand.  I felt such sadness, such loss, such depth of emotions that still visit me each and every day.  Yet, I'll always recall the wonderful times we sat at my dining room table over breakfast, lunch or snacks.  Shooting the breeze, laughing about nothing and feeling connected although we were years apart.  Nothing's changed in that department.  And the merry melodies I play on my piano only serve to remind me of those happy days, fine feelings and treasured memories.

I'll never forget when one of the kits was born without eye sockets.  Stillborn. Yet, Mama Sweetie Pie licked and licked her baby, as if just one more lick would zap life into its stiff little body.  I watched the miracle of birth and death, within seconds, and felt the joy of life turn into the darkness of doom.  Another unforgettable, but not forgotten memory, of the special feelings we shared.

Then, there was Suzy's passing last August.  My best friend and closest confidante for 14 years.  Gone.  And the preceeding three weeks were such agony, watching her slip away, day-after-day, yet fighting for life against a race of death.  In the end, the grim reaper won.  He always does.  Yet our love held strong and fast throughout.  And still does.

Friends who've come and gone.  Misunderstandings.  Misgivings, in some cases. Missed and missing.  Yet nothing obliterates the closeness we once felt.  At least for me.  And, I don't regret one single second that we spent together, laughing, talking, close, compatible.  Things change.  But love stays.