Robben Fleming's Memorial

Yesterday I went to a memorial service for one of the finest gentlemen I've ever known, and  President of my alma mater, The University of Michigan from 1968 to 1978 overlapping my 4-year tenure as an undergraduate there. Refine, relaxed, gentile and gentle were just a few descriptions of this 6'4, soft-spoken leader. 

He served during some of the most tumultuous years at the University.  It was the Vietnam era, and there were draft dodgers and protestors, the BAM (Black Action Movement) strike, the John Sinclair House and the Chicago 7 hang-outs around town.  When students protested on his lawn and police were called, Dr. Fleming calmly walked up to the police and said, "I think they'd all leave if you just went away" then paused and softly said, "besides, they have midterms, now, and need to get back to study."

Some of the speakers had this to say about him:  "He led by example."  "He was always calm, patient and open  to others' opinions."  "Mrs. Fleming was the wind under his wings."  "He was  great role model, slow to anger, willing to forgive, a great listener---and he loved basketball."  "He was a man of faith."  "He ministered to all he encountered with humility, honesty and service."  "He had a true grasp of what leadership meant and shared that with others." "He had very strong Midwestern tendencies of integrity, character and humor."  "He was truly a man of character and grace.  Warm, witty and dignified.  A perfect leader for an imperfect time."

When I was a student at University of Michigan, I went to the President's Open House 3 of the 4 years I was there.  I met and shook hands with President Fleming and his wife, Sally.  Never did I think I'd be attending his memorial service nearly 40 years later.  When I'd heard he was in Glacier Hills, about 5 months ago, I initially had an idea of going to meet with him, talk about the old days, see how he was feeling about them and the ensuing years and write a kind of Tuesdays With Morrie book about our meetings.

But, I waited.  And waited.  And waited.  For what?  Was I too intimidated to appraoch him?  What was I scared of?  That he'd think I was pushy or nervy or what?  From what I heard and learned at the memorial service, he would've welcomed a former student, a visitor, someone to chat with regularly.  We might've struck up a cordial friendship.  Wait---indeed.

"Don't put off for tomorrow what you can do today." Weight broke the wagon."  Wait, for what?  Why?  As I sadly discovered, waiting is futile, a waste of time, life and love.  Had I gone to see Dr. Fleming when I first found out he was there, I may have opened a window of opportunity---for friendship, fellowship, laughter and learning. I may have written a book about his life and times.  He may have welcomed a visitor.  We might have shared something special.

A soft tongue can break hard bones.

Proverbs