Wednesday, August 26, 2009

TIme Passes By, Love Remains


Today is the 8th day since I kissed my darling Suzy farewell for the last time.  And, today is my Mom's 91st birthday.
A time for grieving and a time for celebrating.  A time
for reassessing priorities and a time for expressing gratitude.
Seeing Suzy decline over the past month, and fighting hard to keep her alive but losing to time, in the end, taught me many lessons. 
1)  To show those you love the warmth, caring and affection, each and every day, that you feel in your heart.


2)  To appreciate every moment you spend with your dog, cat, pet or loved one.  Time is fleeting and you, or they, may not be here tomorrow.  (No one will be, eventually.)


3)  To look into their eyes, establish contact and maintain connections in good times and bad.


4)  To tell them you love them in word, thought and deed.


5)  To never put off for tomorrow what you can express, show or communicate in kindness, caring and sharing today.  (This goes for anyone not just pets or special people in your life.)


6)  To acknowledge how fortunate you are to have them in your life.


7)  To say a prayer of thanks every day.


8)  To know that your connection was mystical and magical and happened only once in a  lifetime.


9)  To cherish time spent together.


10)  To take comfort in keeping their memory alive forever.


In seeing my Mom age and grow frail, like I just witnessed in Suzy, I am viscerally remined of the passing of life.  When I was a child, I looked up to this tall, slender, physically active woman.  Now, I gaze down at her shrivled form and feel pangs of empathy for her failing
eyesight, diminished hearing and fragile frame. 


It was only two weeks ago that I watched Suzy stumble and fall, roll hard after taking one cautious step and be unable to stand on her own.  Although I lifted, assisted and carried her in and out of the house, several times a day,  took her for accupuncture, fed her special diets, made her favorite foods, stroked, massaged, held, cuddled and cried into her thick radiant
fur, "please don't leave me!" in the end, nothing could save her.


And today, as I sing "Happy Birthday" to my Mom and celebrate her 91st year, I'll both rejoice that we have these moments today and grieve for the notion that this chorus may be our last.  And it will be in knowing, feeling, and acknowledging this landmark birthday, and all it implies, that I will truly celebrate her life---and mine.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Please congratulate your mother on attaining 91 years of age. Suzy and you are remembered in my prayers daily; hope it helps in some way.
Time makes the pain go away and it is much easier to remember the great times with less sadness.

Ruth McNally Barshaw said...

Hey, Phyll, I understand. I still look up to see Willie in my studio, I still move my feet on the bed to make room for him, and he hasn't been there for a month. I'd count the days but instead I'm counting puppies. If we hadn't gone to the Animal Control Shelter to see life after he died, if we hadn't been there to foster the 8 puppies in the bin the guy handed us, my life would be so much more sad and dull.
I have found new life, new love. It's not the same, and I won't forget Willie, and I still almost see Willie in my studio, every day, but it's life and it makes me happy.
Maybe you should try that too. Just go to see life, not to take it home with you.